As the days begin to shorten and the warmth of summer slowly changes to the crisp feel of autumn, many of us feel the quiet, but definite, shift of the seasons. For some, including myself, this transition feels comforting, with its colours, routines, and quiet, cosy evenings. For others, it can feel unsettling. Change, even the gentle flow of the seasons, can bring with it a sense of loss, uncertainty, and resistance.
We, as humans, are creatures who thrive on familiarity. We often like to believe we know what is coming, to feel prepared, to have some sense of control. Any transitions, whether they are large or small, remind us that life is always moving, and not always at a pace or in a direction we would choose. In therapy, I often see how the very nature of change stirs up discomfort, fear and anxiety. When something is ending, we may cling tightly to what has been. When something new begins, we can find ourselves worrying about what it will bring.
For me, the interesting thing about seasonal change is that it happens outside of our control. Summer doesn’t ask if we’re ready to let go of it; autumn arrives in its own time. In a way, this can be easier than the transitions that involve our own decision-making, such as moving home, starting a new job, or ending a relationship. When choice is involved, our minds often step in with overthinking, self-doubt, and the pressure to get it “right.” But with the seasons, there is no “right” or “wrong.” The change simply comes, and we find our way through.
This doesn’t mean seasonal transitions are always easy. Our bodies and minds often take time to adjust. The earlier evenings, the cooler mornings, the return to school or work routines can all change the rhythm of our lives. What can help is learning to carry ourselves through these times with kindness and steadiness, rather than expecting ourselves to glide through gracefully without a wobble.
Compassion-focused therapy reminds us that we need safe groundings in moments of transition. This might mean finding ways to soothe and reassure ourselves when things feel uncertain. It might mean creating small rituals like lighting a candle as the evenings draw in, taking a walk to notice the changing colours, or making a warm drink as a pause in the day. These can all help us to feel rooted and supported. This is not about avoiding change, but about holding ourselves gently as we move with it.
It can be helpful to notice what our minds do in transitions. Perhaps we find ourselves caught up in stories about how much we dislike change, or how much better things were before, or perhaps how we won’t cope with what’s ahead. We can gently acknowledge these stories, thank our minds for trying to protect us, and then bring ourselves back to what matters here and now. The changing season can be an invitation to turn toward our values: to ask, “What matters to me in this new season?” and “How can I bring that into my daily life?”
Maybe autumn can become a time for slowing down and for making space for creativity or reflection. Or perhaps it is a time for reconnecting with others, or for focusing on something meaningful that grounds you. When we learn to adapt in this way, the transition is not just something we have to endure, but something that can carry us gently forwards toward what is important – we can learn to move with the flow of life rather than resisting it.
As you move from summer into autumn this year, you might pause to ask yourself:
- What do I need to feel safe and supported right now?
- What small rituals could help me adjust with kindness?
- What values do I want to guide me in the months ahead?
Transitions will always be part of life. Some are of our choosing, some not. But in each, we have the chance to soften, to care for ourselves, and to take gentle steps in the direction of what truly matters.
Just as the trees let go of their leaves without resistance, perhaps we too can find ways to let go and lean into what is unfolding.
With September love
Sarah x
FAQs
Why do transitions feel so hard for many people?
Transitions take us away from what is familiar and predictable. As humans, we are wired to feel safer when we know what’s coming. Change can stir up uncertainty, even if it is something positive.
Why are seasonal transitions often easier than life changes we have to choose?
Because we don’t have to make decisions about them. When a change happens naturally, like summer turning into autumn, there’s no pressure on us to “get it right” because it is not our decision. When we face choices, our minds often step in with overthinking and self-doubt.
How does compassion help during times of transition?
Compassion reminds us to approach ourselves with kindness instead of criticism. Rather than expecting ourselves to adapt perfectly, we can support ourselves gently, especially when the change feels challenging, like we would comfort a friend.
What small things can help me adjust to seasonal change?
Simple rituals can make a big difference like lighting a candle, going for a walk to notice the changing colours, or making a warm drink at the end of the day. These can create a sense of safety and grounding.
How can I manage my fearful thoughts?
We can notice how our minds respond to change—often with stories about not coping or longing for what was before. Instead of getting stuck in those stories, we can gently return to the present and choose actions guided by our values – what really matters to us in our lives.
What do you mean by “values”?
Values are the things that matter most to you—the qualities you want to bring into your life. For example, kindness, connection, creativity, or growth. In times of transition, values act as a compass to guide our steps.
What if I still feel unsettled after trying these approaches?
It’s natural to feel unsettled at times. Transitions take time and adjustment. Offering yourself patience, rather than pressure, can be the most healing step. And sometimes, it’s okay to simply acknowledge, “This feels hard right now” without having to change it.
How can I make the most of autumn this year?
You might ask yourself: What matters most to me in this season? It could be slowing down, spending more time in nature, reconnecting with loved ones, or making space for creativity. Aligning with your values can make the season meaningful, even if the change feels difficult at first.
Sarah Parker, MBACP (Accredited) is a psychotherapist based in West Yorkshire, with a special interest in eating disorders, disordered eating, and neurodivergence. Originally trained in relational counselling, she later qualified in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Sarah’s experience spans a range of settings, including working with survivors of rape and sexual abuse, as well as many years supporting individuals and groups in NHS mental health teams and a specialist eating disorder service. She is also an experienced trainer and educator, delivering workshops on working safely and effectively with people with eating disorders. In addition to her training work, she has been a guest on several podcasts and previously co-hosted her own.
Now in private practice, Sarah’s approach is shaped by her professional expertise and lived experience of an eating disorder. She is passionate about fostering a hopeful, compassionate, and collaborative space where clients can move toward meaningful change.