We have just returned from two weeks holiday in Scotland. The beaches were, as always, beautiful and quiet; the skies big and open. And our 2 terriers had the most amazing time running and playing.
Douglas, our 13 year old border terrier, had major hip surgery back in November. At his age, recovery was never going to be quick or straightforward. We didn’t know if he would ever run again. We certainly didn’t expect him to. But on those Scottish beaches, with the wind in his fur and the sea air in his nose, he ran again and his spirit was clear to see.
He has never been the most athletic of dogs. He was born an old spirit – steady and reliable, but not speedy. No hip surgery will change that, but he ran with such spirit. His run isn’t neat, lithe or tidy. It’s a little uneven, with one leg sticking out a little, doing its own thing, but it’s his. Tail wagging, ears flapping, eyes bright – he ran in a way that was deeply, unmistakably joyful – especially since he knew there was a treat at the end of the run! And his run, just as it was, was enough. More than enough.
It reminded me, as so many things do, of recovery. Of healing. Of change – and how easy it is, especially in our goal-driven, comparison-prone world, to only measure progress against someone else’s template – or against an ideal that was never ours to begin with.
Douglas won’t ever run like a young dog again. But he doesn’t need to. He still has some arthritis, and he still has his ‘why do too much, when you can do less’ attitude. What matters is that he can move freely enough to enjoy the things he loves – the beach, the smells, the sand, the chase for a gravy bone. His recovery has been on his terms, within his own framework. Not back to what was, but forward to what matters.
Recovery, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, is never a straight path. It doesn’t happen according to neat timelines or fixed goals. It is never about getting back to how things were or trying to match someone else’s pace or picture. It’s about finding your way – a way that fits with your body, your life, and your values. Recovery and change is unique to each individual.
Meaningful change is deeply personal. What matters is that it brings you closer to the things that give life meaning and joy – freedom, connection, vitality. Your very own version of running on the beach is yours to decide.
It might look different from what you thought or imagined it would. It might take longer than you hoped. It might be a little messy, quiet, or unexpected. But it can still be rich. It can still be yours.
Douglas is a lovely reminder of how powerful and important that truth is. And how worth holding onto it is.
With May love
Sarah x
FAQ’s
What do you mean by ‘recovery within your own framework’?
Recovery within your own framework means finding a way forward that works for you. It doesn’t mean going back to how things were or following someone else’s path. It’s about understanding your own needs, limits, values, and hopes – and shaping change and recovery around what feels right for you.
How do I know if my recovery is ‘enough’?
There’s no single definition of ‘enough’. If you’re moving towards the things that matter to you – whether that’s connection, freedom, peace, or purpose – then you’re on the right path. Recovery isn’t about ticking boxes; it’s about reclaiming what gives your life meaning and joy.
What if my progress feels slow compared to others’?
Progress isn’t a race. It is very individual. Comparing your journey to someone else’s can take you away from what’s most important – your own needs and values. Slower doesn’t mean less successful. Sometimes the slowest steps are the most meaningful and the most sustainable.
How do I set goals that are meaningful to me?
Start with what matters. Ask yourself: What do I miss? What would I love to be able to do? What really matters to me in my life? Your goals don’t have to be big or dramatic – they just have to matter to you.
Can I still say I’m recovering if I don’t feel better all the time?
Absolutely. Recovery is rarely linear. Ups and downs are part of the process. Feeling low or stuck doesn’t mean you’re not changing and healing – it just means you’re human. The important thing is to keep returning to the things that matter to you.
What is my recovery is not how I expected it to look?
That is very usual. It’s natural to grieve hopes or expectations that haven’t come to be. Giving yourself space to feel that loss can actually open the door to a more compassionate, flexible version of recovery – one that honours where you are now.
What if I don’t know what my values are yet?
That’s okay. Values aren’t always clear at the start. Begin by noticing what makes you feel alive, connected, or moved. What do you care deeply about? What helps you feel grounded? These small signals can gently guide you.
How can I stay motivated when recovery feels hard?
It can help to keep coming back to why you’re doing it. Keep a reminder of what matters close by, a note of your values perhaps. Progress can be quiet and slow, but each step in the direction of your values is meaningful. Seek help and support from the people you know and love if you can – having a team of supporters around you can really help when you are feeling tired and doubtful.
Sarah Parker, MBACP (Accredited) is a psychotherapist based in West Yorkshire, with a special interest in eating disorders, disordered eating, and neurodivergence. Originally trained in relational counselling, she later qualified in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Sarah’s experience spans a range of settings, including working with survivors of rape and sexual abuse, as well as many years supporting individuals and groups in NHS mental health teams and a specialist eating disorder service. She is also an experienced trainer and educator, delivering workshops on working safely and effectively with people with eating disorders. In addition to her training work, she has been a guest on several podcasts and previously co-hosted her own.
Now in private practice, Sarah’s approach is shaped by her professional expertise and lived experience of an eating disorder. She is passionate about fostering a hopeful, compassionate, and collaborative space where clients can move toward meaningful change.