In our house this month we have a few decisions to make. Which car do we buy? Who will be our mobile network provider? And the most exciting of all – where and when do we get married?
I absolutely acknowledge that we are lucky to be making such decisions, and what has been interesting is noticing how we both have very different approaches to decision making. Brian tends to mull things over, worry about the potential outcome and try to ‘get it right’ when he makes a decision. I, on the other hand, jump in, have a quick look and make the decision. It’s not that either of us actively choose to do it this way, we have just learnt from our experiences through life to worry, or not, about the outcome of the decision.
We each become exasperated by the other – and I can tell you there has been some tension at times!! I can’t understand Brian’s fear of ‘getting it wrong’ because I see that there is no such thing as a wrong decision. Brian can’t understand my haste in making a decision, because he sees it as reckless.
What if we could see that there is no such thing as a good or bad decision. What if it’s not on us to get the decision right or wrong? What if we didn’t have to judge the outcome as good and bad? That’s a lot of ‘what ifs’, but could we see it is all just life living through us and guiding us in a myriad of different directions.
Humans love to categorise and judge. We think it’s all on us to ‘get it right’, but maybe it’s not! Life is living us. The thoughts that arise, the ideas that come to us, they are all the energy of life showing up in us. That doesn’t mean we never make choices in life, though. We are not helpless or powerless.
Life is spontaneous; life is happening around us whether we actively make decisions or not, AND we still have choices to make, directions to take.
It’s perhaps about being curious around what drives our choices. Are they driven by habitual, fearful thoughts, or do we tap into our wisdom, our intuition? Do we go with the habitual noise in our head, or do we listen out for our calm, quiet, intuitive voice that arises moment to moment?
Our minds are naturally programmed by our past experiences and will often bring up old fears and old beliefs. Intuition, gut feeling is fresh and in the moment. When we see the world from intuition we see through fresh eyes and have access to a whole new world of options before us; options which are the best for us in that moment, and options which are not clouded by past fears and anxieties.
Of course, there are consequences to any decision we make. Some may feel bigger than others. We cannot predict the future. We can’t know for sure what the next minute will bring, so we can only ever make a decision in the moment and watch what unfolds. With this in mind, perhaps we can start to be kinder with ourselves when making decisions. We can’t possibly know for definite the consequences of our decisions, but when we know we have access to an infinite source of wisdom and resilience for making decisions and living through the consequences, we realise we can approach our decisions with greater confidence, compassion and understanding for the learning in each and every decision we make.
With love. Sarah