Love is what unites us

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Sarah Parker

Change coach, therapist, human being, and founder of Well of Being.

“Everyone is doing the best they can given the thinking they have that looks real to them.” Sydney Banks

This month’s blog feels a little different for me. It isn’t written as a political message, though some may read it so. I want to write about what has been occurring to me from beyond my humanness, from a place of love, oneness, and nature.

I have, of course, found the news coverage of events unfolding in Afghanistan particularly difficult to watch on many levels. Not simply on a political level, but from a deeply human place.

The fear on the faces of the people and their desperation is heart-breaking. Of course, as a human, I cannot understand, and I want their suffering to stop. It is easy to turn to feelings of anger about what is happening in the country; to feel angry with western politicians and, of course with events that are unfolding. I want the people of Afghanistan and of the world to experience the freedom I’m gifted with. I think we all do.

I can see that my anger, when I see fighting and loss of liberty is driven by thoughts of unfairness, loss, intolerance, and frustration. However, beyond my thoughts when I’m connected to the wisdom and love of the universe, I’m able to see something more than anger. I can see the situation much more with compassionate eyes.

What if we can see the humanness, the fallibility of everyone, AND the spirit that unites us all in love? Even if those responsible for the aggression cannot. All of us are spiritual beings living a human existence. We are all the same, but for the thinking that looks real to us moment to moment.

I know that some thoughts can look incredibly real to me sometimes. Just this week, I have experienced some insecure thinking about not being good enough. For a while I saw that thinking as the truth – I needed to do something to be a better coach and therapist, a better person, because someone else didn’t like something I said. At times, I really believed I was not likeable – that I needed to be different. Imagine if I didn’t understand how humans work, the difference between thought and wisdom? I would forever be chasing the thing that might make me a better human, a nicer person; I wouldn’t forgive myself for saying something unhelpful, and I couldn’t learn the depth of my acceptability, beyond my human experience. I’m blessed to see that we are all innately good enough, despite any thinking that tells me otherwise.

In my humanness, I can sometimes respond to my thinking which has consequences on a human level. Fortunately, the thoughts that arise in me have not had the same catastrophic consequences of thoughts that arise for others. What if we could see that those involved in any fighting or war also have some (admittedly devastating) thinking that they believe. To them, perhaps, restricting others’ liberties, or ending the lives of people who do not conform to their beliefs looks like truth and they are acting on their truth. To you and me, that is incomprehensible, of course. But if we can see that all of us have the capacity to act on our thinking when it looks real to us, there is no difference in the process. Of course, the consequences are tragically different, but the system that drives us all is the same.

What occurs to me is that meeting anger and hatred with the same will never bring resolution. What if, by understanding the system behind our experience and sharing that with love, we can also help others to dwell beyond their thinking, in a place of love, tolerance, and unity, despite the thoughts that arise?

With deep August love and hope

Sarah x

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