This month sees Eating Disorders Awareness week in the UK, with the theme being ‘Anyone can be affected by an eating disorder’.
It would be easy to believe that eating disorders only affect certain types of people. The images we often see in the media, and the stories that are often told can paint a narrow picture—one that does not reflect the vast and varied reality of people who struggle.
It is also easy to fall into the trap of believing eating disorders are about eating. They are not. They would be more accurately described as ‘thinking disorders’. Most people can and do physically eat. Indeed many with eating disorders often know more about food and nutrition than most. Eating disorders are complex relationships with food and the body that are driven often by painful past experiences and belief systems which develop as a result of life experiences.
Eating disorders do not have one face, one body, one age, one background or one neurotype. They can touch the lives of anyone, regardless of age, gender, size, ethnicity, or life experience.
Life can feel deeply isolating for anyone living with an eating disorder. It can feel like no one else could possibly understand, or even believe you, especially if you do not see yourself reflected in the narratives that exist. You may question whether your struggles are valid, whether you are ‘unwell enough,’ or whether you deserve help and support. The reality is that eating disorders are not a choice. They do not ask for permission, and they certainly do not wait until someone meets a particular set of criteria before they take hold.
And just as anyone can be affected, anyone and everyone is also deserving of care, compassion, and support to change. Indeed, compassionate support, whether from family and friends, or professionals is central in cutting through the shame of eating disorders.
Shame often sits at the heart of an eating disorder—shame about food, about body image, about emotions that feel too overwhelming or too much. It is a silent, hidden force that keeps people isolated and alone, destroying self esteem and self-belief. Shame thrives in isolation. It silences, it disconnects, it convinces people that they are alone in their pain.
But the very nature of shame means that it cannot survive in the presence of compassion. When we are met by others, and we meet ourselves with kindness instead of criticism, when we allow our struggles to be seen without judgment, our experience begins to shift.
Change does not begin with shame or self-judgment. It begins with understanding, with gentle kindness towards the parts of yourself that have been trying to cope in the only ways they knew how. It begins with recognising that you do not have to fit a stereotype to be worthy of help. Your experience is real. Your pain matters. And no matter how alone you may feel, there is space for you here.
Compassion is not about ignoring the difficulties or pretending everything is okay. It is about softening the harshness, allowing yourself to step out of isolation, and knowing that change is not about punishment but about care. It is in compassion that we can rebuild our sense of self and our self-belief so that we can find the courage to take small steps forward, to reach out, to begin loosening the grip of the eating disorder.
If you are struggling, please know that you do not have to do this on your own. Even if you have previously sought support and it hasn’t helped, or you have been pushed away. You are not beyond help, and you are not alone. Support is for you, too. Change is for you, too, on your terms, in your time. There should be no exceptions; no conditions. Just the quiet truth that you are worthy and enough, exactly as you are.
With February love and support. Sarah
FAQs About Eating Disorders
Is everyone who has an eating disorder underweight?
No. Absolutely not. Eating disorders affect people of all body sizes. Many individuals with eating disorders are in bodies that do not fit society’s stereotypes of eating disorders, which can make it harder for them to be recognised or seek help.
Are eating disorders just about food and weight?
No. While eating behaviours are affected, eating disorders are often about much deeper emotional struggles, such as trauma, anxiety, self-worth, and coping with distressing thoughts and feelings.
What causes an eating disorder?
There is no single cause. Eating disorders are complex and can develop due to a combination of factors. Each person with an eating disorder will have their own unique story, and, as such, each person will have their own unique change process too.
Can’t someone ‘just eat’ and get better?
Recovery is not as simple as eating more or less. While nourishing the body is important, true change comes from addressing the underlying emotions, thoughts and beliefs that drive disordered eating.
Are eating disorders a choice?
No. Never. Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions. No one chooses to have an eating disorder, and recovery requires support, understanding, and compassion.
Can men have eating disorders?
Yes. Eating disorders affect people of all genders. However, due to stigma and misconceptions, men and non-binary individuals may be less likely to seek help or be diagnosed.
Is recovery possible?
Absolutely. While recovery can be challenging, with the right support, people can and do move on from eating disorders and to live meaningful, fulfilling lives.
What should I do if I think I have an eating disorder?
Reach out for support. Whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, therapist, health professional, or a specialised service, you deserve help and do not have to face this alone. And if you do not get the support and validation initially, keep seeking. Compassionate support can make all the difference.
Meet Sarah
Sarah is a BACP accredited psychotherapist who has a special interest in working with those who struggle with their relationship with food, weight and body image. She originally trained in relational counselling and has since qualified in EMDR, Compassion Focused Therapy, and ACT.
Sarah’s experience has been developed in a variety of settings including supporting survivors of rape and sexual abuse, as well as many years of working with individuals and groups in mental health teams and a specialist NHS eating disorder service. She delivers training and education around working safely and effectively with people with eating disorders and has been a guest on several podcasts as well as co-hosting her own podcast previously.
Sarah now works in private practice where her passion, alongside her own lived experience of an eating disorder, shape her hopeful, compassionate and collaborative approach to therapy.
